Whenever the Shaitan reminds you of your past, it’s an easy battle. You just remind him of his future. Burning in himself. Pride that did him no good. From the beginning of the world to the end, it’ll feel like less than a day when he faces his Lord. Such a wasted cause.
You don’t leave your heart. That’s all this accursed whisperer wants you to do. He has no power to destroy you. You have power to destroy you. When you leave your Lord, you leave everything. With repentance, you learn to stay in your heart and remember your Lord, seeking refuge from the accursed whisperer. This battle is extremely hard. But it’s a silent one.
It’s harder when people remind you of your past. They have words you wrote. Pictures of you. Videos of you. Memories of you. Perspectives of you. Beliefs of you. They hold on to it, and constantly remind you of it. They, in their extremely active laziness to resist change, get scared when they see you changing. They don’t care what you did. They just want to hurt you - so that they can stop your advance toward Him, thinking that it’ll mean that the purpose of advancing toward Him is gone. Safe from the Last Day.
These are the worst of people. They wallow in their own pity. They dream and never wake up. They constantly whine. Constantly watch people, and pray that everyone thinks well of them, while always thinking everyone hates them. They go out of their way to try to fit into society, to be the funniest, smartest, best looking - only so that they can be praised. Narcissistic to the core. Inside of their hearts, they constantly harbor hatred of everything and everyone, while crying because they know that they truly only hate their own selves - how they are enslaved by the whisperer willingly, refusing to advance to Him.
Pride forbids them to admit it. Suffocating in their veils. So they come after you, a Muslim struggling to reach Islam.
Don’t think it’s anything new. Every example, of every kind, of every level is in the Qur’an.
In Surah Ash-Shu’ara, Allah gives us the conversation between Pharaoh and Musa (a.s.).
Pharaoh says, “And [then] you did your deed which you did (striking the Copt, who died as a result), and you were of the ungrateful.” (26:19)
And then Musa (a.s.) responds in the best manner.
[Musa] said, “I did it, then, while I was of those astray [i.e., ignorant]. So I fled from you when I feared you. Then my Lord granted me judgment [i.e., wisdom and prophethood] and appointed me [as one] of the messengers.” (26:20-21).
He didn’t deny what he did. He understood that it was because he was astray. And then when Allah called upon Him, he strove with a great striving, and fulfilled his mission.
In the same way, we’ve all committed sins. It doesn’t matter what you did. The core of it is disobedience. The way out is through repentance.
Allah chose Musa (a.s.) for prophethood, who was told of the coming of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.s). Allah chose us to follow Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.s.), whose ummah is all of mankind.
Whenever those stuck in the past remind you of yours, just say as Musa (a.s.) said: I did it, then, while I was of those astray.”
That’s it. Then move on to Him, returning to your purpose. They’ll always think of you. You’ll always think of Him.
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